Navigating the Kathmandu airport

I got off the plane at Kathmandu's Tribhuvan airport, the smallest (and, I'd bet, one of the weirdest) international airports in the world, and was immediately herded onto a bus that was already jam packed. We waited a few minutes, then drove 50 feet, and everyone got off and funneled into the nearest building. This building looked like a high school. It was apparently the main (and only) terminal. I walked down a few hallways and came to an open room with lots of stuff going on and no instructions. There were machines on my left, a counter in front of me (past the machines), and more counters further away on my right. I went to one of the free machines first, and quickly discovered it was free because it didn't work, and then noticed that half of the machines in the room didn't work. I lined up behind a lady who was filling out some information on a working machine. She got a slip of paper and headed to the near counter, and I took over the machine. I started filling in my information when another guy who had also just arrived approached me and asked what the machine was for. "I have no fucking idea, but I think it's for the visa application." He laughed and lined up behind me. Once I completed this step, I copied what the lady in front of me did and took the ticket to the counter nearby, where I was asked for it, and some money, in exchange for some coloured receipts. I then took those receipts to the other counter across the room and exchanged one of them for my actual visa.

Now that I had my visa, the next step was figuring out how to get the hell out of the airport. I followed the hallway and came to an inexplicable carry-on baggage security checkpoint, because apparently my bags can be safe enough to travel on a plane but maybe not safe enough to take into Kathmandu afterward. I put them through the machine and moved on. The next room was where people were getting their checked luggage. I was immediately grateful that I had none, because this room was like Black Friday at Best Buy. I lined up behind a bunch of people who had trolleys full of large electronics to check at customs. When I got to the front the customs guy was incredulous that I had no bags other than my carry-on luggage and told me to go ahead, as if I wasn't supposed to have waited in that line. At the time I didn't see how I could have avoided it other than literally shoving my way through, but after having been in Nepal for a month, I know now that's probably what I was actually supposed to do.

I finally got to the arrival hall and was swarmed by people asking me where I was going and if I needed a taxi or a hotel. One guy was particularly insistent and, after leading me to the ATM, tried to suggest I ride in a taxi with him and his friends to Thamel, the tourist district where my hostel was. I politely declined. He told me not to ride in a local taxi because although they're cheaper than the airport taxis, the drivers try to scam you and take you to the wrong location. I knew this was bullshit, so once I got rid of him, I tried to find the local taxis he was telling me to avoid. I walked a few minutes past the chaotic cluster of people coming out and going into the airport to find a sea of white taxis, but these were the airport ones. I kept walking for a few minutes, but when it quickly got dark and quiet and I started to pass people who were giving me weird "where are you going?" looks, I knew I wasn't going in the right direction. I decided to turn back and settle for paying an extra few hundred rupees for an airport taxi. On the way out, the driver pointed out to me where the regular taxis were, and I wouldn't have found it at that time of night even at my most stubborn and persistent. In the end, I had no regrets paying a few extra dollars to get me to my hostel promptly.

All in all, it was a strange, confusing, and, now that I've gotten to know it a bit better, entirely appropriate introduction to Kathmandu and Nepal.