Uninvited bedroom guests

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and there it was, sitting in the sink: a giant roach, several inches long and meaty. This was the second one I had to deal with in a few nights. The last one had found its way onto the top of my bed canopy, inside the mosquito netting, to greet me as I was lying down and looking up. He was tricky to get rid of, but the random electric tennis racket bug zapper I found in the room helped. This time I was on my own - there wasn't even any toilet paper in here.

I went outside to grab my flip flop to kill it, and returned to the bathroom to find worse news: it was gone. I frantically looked around, searching the floor, the walls and the ceiling. Nothing. I noticed the door to my room had a huge gap in the bottom of it, so I went in and searched my room as well, but no sign of him.

I was getting ready for bed, so I continued where I left off. After I brushed my teeth, as I was rinsing my mouth, I saw legs and a head poke out from the sink pipe - he was back. I started trying to splash him with water from my bottle, wasting all of it, but it was no use. He was too fast. He climbed out of the sink and started running in haphazard patterns around the floor, and before I could grab another weapon he made his way for the door to my bedroom. Nope. I had no choice at that point so I lifted my right foot over top of him and smashed him between it and the floor. Phew, it was over.

But it wasn't.

I looked over to the sink and saw something else climbing out of the pipe. No no no no. Was I about to get swarmed by a family of massive, huge roaches? I turned the sink on to try to flush it down but it was no use, it was already halfway out. When it did climb fully out, it was a lot smaller, and not a roach at all. It was a small frog. What. The fuck.

This guy seemed pretty freaked out so he wasn't trying to escape the sink at first, but when I grabbed the bum gun and started shooting him, trying to get him back down the pipe, he tried to climb out of the basin as fast as his little legs would carry him. Eventually I got him down there and closed the sink stopper. Now it was over.

But it wasn't.

Apparently the stopper wasn't airtight, so this fool somehow managed to squeeze his way through the tiny gap it left and back into the basin. Alright, bitch, let's dance. I wielded the bum gun again and turned the tap on full blast. I knew he'd be finished if I could just get him under there and flush him down. He deftly escaped the water blasts for a few seconds, but the water coming from all directions was too much for him. He succumbed to his possible doom and got washed down the pipe. I left the tap on full blast and continued to spray the bum gun down the pipe for a good minute before I put the stopper down, holstered the bum gun, went back into my room, and put a towel across the gap in the door to block any intruders.

As I head to sleep, I'm wondering if they're gathering all their strength to ambush me when I go for my morning pee tomorrow. If they do, I'll be armed and ready.

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