The slow boat along the Mekong
Day 0, 7:00am:
I wake up, grab my stuff, and head out to eat breakfast. I'm excited to take the two day slow boat that travels upstream along the Mekong river from Luang Prabang to the Laos-Thailand border. I've heard from many people that it's one of the most pleasant journeys they've taken in southeast Asia, and it sure as hell beats another long bus ride.
Day 0, 7:30am:
Lori emerges from our dorm. We discuss whether or not we still have time to catch the boat. It leaves at 8:30, and we opted not to buy advance tickets from a travel agency in town to save a bit of money ($4), so we're supposed to get to the pier early. I figure we're cutting it close, but it's low season so we might be alright.
Day 0, 7:50am:
Another girl from the hostel, Esmee, is taking the boat today, but she has a ticket so she is waiting for the tuktuk to pick her up from the hostel and take her to the pier. We ask Bram, one of the hostel employees, if we can ride in the tuktuk with her since it's coming here anyway, and buy a boat ticket at the pier when we get there. Bram calls to find out.
Day 0, 7:55am:
Bram gets off the phone. "No boats today," he shrugs. "Don't know why. The guy's English was limited. He says 'tomorrow'." Okay then. Glad we didn't go all the way to the pier to find that out. We extend another night at the hostel and get ready to do this again tomorrow morning. I decide to spend a few extra dollars and buy a ticket at the hostel to make my life easier, since I now have to go to the ATM anyway.
Day 1, 7:30am:
The tuktuk guy is here but there's no sign of Lori. She hasn't bought a ticket so we're not sure if she's coming. I run to the dorm to see where she is, because I'm pretty sure she still wants to come.
Day 1, 7:35am:
Lori comes out front, quickly buys a ticket from Bram, and the three of us are off with a tuktuk driver we've already managed to mildly upset.
Day 1, 8:00am:
We get to the pier and Lori and I realize we both forgot our water in our haste back at the hostel. We buy some overpriced small bottles and some snacks from a stall nearby, go down to the dock, and board the boat.
Day 1, 8:30am:
We are the only tourists on the boat, aside from a Chinese guy, which means we are instant celebrities. No pair of eyes has been on anything but us for the past 20 minutes. We play cards with the weirdest deck of cards I've ever seen. They are Swiss cards from the early 20th century. They've been passed down for 2 generations in Lori's family. Awesome.
Day 1, 8:45am:
We're off! It's a beautiful day: white, fluffy clouds, blue sky, and green, hilly landscape. It's going to be a nice ride.
Day 1, 10:00am:
We leave the main seating area to sit on a bench outside on the front of the boat. A few local guys come out every so often to admire the scenery with us. We see some local people on fishing boats and drive past some small villages, but mostly it's just us and the surrounding nature.
Day 1, 11:00am:
We head toward a cluster of small docked boats near the shore and start to slow down. Some teenage boys come out front, each with three bags in tow. A man comes out, grabs one of the three large bamboo poles slotted in on the boat's bow, and uses it to steer us closer. The boys step off our boat onto another, and the man hands them the bags one by one. They go from boat to boat to get to land as we drive away.
Day 1, 11:30am:
We drive halfway into a bush. Bamboo man is helping us avoid obstacles. Another man leaps off the boat onto a nearby rock and he and Bamboo man hold the boat steady long enough for more teenage boys with more shopping bags to disembark and disappear into the bush. Jumping man climbs back onto the boat, and we're away again.
Day 1, 11:45am:
We steer toward another cluster of boats, which look like they have people living on them. There are a few men on the roof of one of them. More boys with more bags climb onto the railing of our boat, as it's moving, and step onto the roof of the other boat.
Day 1, 12:45pm:
A man in a small boat paddles up to us and collects one of our passengers.
Day 1, 1:15pm:
A toddler who is wearing no pants shits on the floor inside, near where I am sitting. His sister pulls him up halfway through, and drags him to the toilet on the back of the boat.
Day 1, 1:18pm:
The sister returns, carrying the boy. They walk right past his poop. The sister ignores it. The boy points at it. Even he knows it shouldn't be there. They sit back down 20 feet away and she pretends it didn't happen.
Day 1, 1:25pm:
A man steps in the poop.
Day 1, 1:30pm:
An old local man reads over my shoulder as I type. I look at him, smile, and say, "Sabaidee" ("hello"). He gives me a big almost-toothless grin in return, inspects my laptop for a few seconds, and walks away.
Day 1, 1:35pm:
A boat employee starts talking to the little boy's sister. It seems like she's asking her to clean up the poop. Other passengers look at it, and her, some in obvious disgust. The sister walks over and scoops it up with a scarf.
Day 1, 2:35pm:
The little boy is screaming bloody murder, possibly because he now has pants on. At least the pants might prevent more floor poops.
Day 1, 6:30pm:
We arrive in Pakbeng, our stop for the night. A man climbs onto the front of the boat as soon as we park, touting his guesthouse to us. We go with him, eat way too much food, take an ice cold shower, and pass out.
Day 2, 7:00am:
There is an aggressive knock on our door telling us to wake up for the boat. Didn't know this place did wake up calls.
Day 2, 8:00am:
We grab our packed lunch and take the guesthouse's tuktuk to the pier, which is 100m away (we thought it was farther). Esmee falls in the mud as we walk toward the boat. Good start to the day. This boat is worse than yesterday's: no tables and no bench at the front, only old car seats. Oh well. It leaves shortly after we board. Looks like another beautiful day.
Day 2, 8:30am:
The Chinese guy from yesterday is on this boat too. He speaks no English, but is able to talk to us through a translation app on his phone. Technology is neat. He's only going to Thailand because the road he was supposed to take in Laos back to China was destroyed.
Day 2, 10:45am:
We pick up some young guys who were standing on a random tiny bank on the river which is surrounded by hills and trees.
Day 2, 6:00pm:
We arrive in Huay Xai, the border town in Laos. There are no instructions when we get off the boat about where to go to cross the border, only local people staring at us. We ascend a staircase toward the ticket booth for the slow boat heading the other way, hoping there will be someone at the desk who can help us. The man at the ticket booth tells us we have to take a tuktuk 6km to the border.
Day 2, 7:00pm:
We cross the border into Thailand with relatively little difficulty. We are outside a town called Chiang Khong. The buses to Chiang Rai, our destination, are finished for the night. We can charter a minibus for $30 apiece or stay in Chiang Khong for the night and take the local bus tomorrow for $2.50. We opt for the latter.
Day 2, 7:30pm:
We check into one of the only hostels in town and head to the bar across the street for several much needed drinks, our first Thai curry, and a night of YouTube karaoke.
Day 2, 11:30pm:
JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL...
I wake up, grab my stuff, and head out to eat breakfast. I'm excited to take the two day slow boat that travels upstream along the Mekong river from Luang Prabang to the Laos-Thailand border. I've heard from many people that it's one of the most pleasant journeys they've taken in southeast Asia, and it sure as hell beats another long bus ride.
Day 0, 7:30am:
Lori emerges from our dorm. We discuss whether or not we still have time to catch the boat. It leaves at 8:30, and we opted not to buy advance tickets from a travel agency in town to save a bit of money ($4), so we're supposed to get to the pier early. I figure we're cutting it close, but it's low season so we might be alright.
Day 0, 7:50am:
Another girl from the hostel, Esmee, is taking the boat today, but she has a ticket so she is waiting for the tuktuk to pick her up from the hostel and take her to the pier. We ask Bram, one of the hostel employees, if we can ride in the tuktuk with her since it's coming here anyway, and buy a boat ticket at the pier when we get there. Bram calls to find out.
Day 0, 7:55am:
Bram gets off the phone. "No boats today," he shrugs. "Don't know why. The guy's English was limited. He says 'tomorrow'." Okay then. Glad we didn't go all the way to the pier to find that out. We extend another night at the hostel and get ready to do this again tomorrow morning. I decide to spend a few extra dollars and buy a ticket at the hostel to make my life easier, since I now have to go to the ATM anyway.
Day 1, 7:30am:
The tuktuk guy is here but there's no sign of Lori. She hasn't bought a ticket so we're not sure if she's coming. I run to the dorm to see where she is, because I'm pretty sure she still wants to come.
Day 1, 7:35am:
Lori comes out front, quickly buys a ticket from Bram, and the three of us are off with a tuktuk driver we've already managed to mildly upset.
Day 1, 8:00am:
We get to the pier and Lori and I realize we both forgot our water in our haste back at the hostel. We buy some overpriced small bottles and some snacks from a stall nearby, go down to the dock, and board the boat.
Day 1, 8:30am:
We are the only tourists on the boat, aside from a Chinese guy, which means we are instant celebrities. No pair of eyes has been on anything but us for the past 20 minutes. We play cards with the weirdest deck of cards I've ever seen. They are Swiss cards from the early 20th century. They've been passed down for 2 generations in Lori's family. Awesome.
Day 1, 8:45am:
We're off! It's a beautiful day: white, fluffy clouds, blue sky, and green, hilly landscape. It's going to be a nice ride.
Day 1, 10:00am:
We leave the main seating area to sit on a bench outside on the front of the boat. A few local guys come out every so often to admire the scenery with us. We see some local people on fishing boats and drive past some small villages, but mostly it's just us and the surrounding nature.
Day 1, 11:00am:
We head toward a cluster of small docked boats near the shore and start to slow down. Some teenage boys come out front, each with three bags in tow. A man comes out, grabs one of the three large bamboo poles slotted in on the boat's bow, and uses it to steer us closer. The boys step off our boat onto another, and the man hands them the bags one by one. They go from boat to boat to get to land as we drive away.
Day 1, 11:30am:
We drive halfway into a bush. Bamboo man is helping us avoid obstacles. Another man leaps off the boat onto a nearby rock and he and Bamboo man hold the boat steady long enough for more teenage boys with more shopping bags to disembark and disappear into the bush. Jumping man climbs back onto the boat, and we're away again.
Day 1, 11:45am:
We steer toward another cluster of boats, which look like they have people living on them. There are a few men on the roof of one of them. More boys with more bags climb onto the railing of our boat, as it's moving, and step onto the roof of the other boat.
Day 1, 12:45pm:
A man in a small boat paddles up to us and collects one of our passengers.
Day 1, 1:15pm:
A toddler who is wearing no pants shits on the floor inside, near where I am sitting. His sister pulls him up halfway through, and drags him to the toilet on the back of the boat.
Day 1, 1:18pm:
The sister returns, carrying the boy. They walk right past his poop. The sister ignores it. The boy points at it. Even he knows it shouldn't be there. They sit back down 20 feet away and she pretends it didn't happen.
Day 1, 1:25pm:
A man steps in the poop.
Day 1, 1:30pm:
An old local man reads over my shoulder as I type. I look at him, smile, and say, "Sabaidee" ("hello"). He gives me a big almost-toothless grin in return, inspects my laptop for a few seconds, and walks away.
Day 1, 1:35pm:
A boat employee starts talking to the little boy's sister. It seems like she's asking her to clean up the poop. Other passengers look at it, and her, some in obvious disgust. The sister walks over and scoops it up with a scarf.
Day 1, 2:35pm:
The little boy is screaming bloody murder, possibly because he now has pants on. At least the pants might prevent more floor poops.
Day 1, 6:30pm:
We arrive in Pakbeng, our stop for the night. A man climbs onto the front of the boat as soon as we park, touting his guesthouse to us. We go with him, eat way too much food, take an ice cold shower, and pass out.
Day 2, 7:00am:
There is an aggressive knock on our door telling us to wake up for the boat. Didn't know this place did wake up calls.
Day 2, 8:00am:
We grab our packed lunch and take the guesthouse's tuktuk to the pier, which is 100m away (we thought it was farther). Esmee falls in the mud as we walk toward the boat. Good start to the day. This boat is worse than yesterday's: no tables and no bench at the front, only old car seats. Oh well. It leaves shortly after we board. Looks like another beautiful day.
Day 2, 8:30am:
The Chinese guy from yesterday is on this boat too. He speaks no English, but is able to talk to us through a translation app on his phone. Technology is neat. He's only going to Thailand because the road he was supposed to take in Laos back to China was destroyed.
Day 2, 10:45am:
We pick up some young guys who were standing on a random tiny bank on the river which is surrounded by hills and trees.
Day 2, 6:00pm:
We arrive in Huay Xai, the border town in Laos. There are no instructions when we get off the boat about where to go to cross the border, only local people staring at us. We ascend a staircase toward the ticket booth for the slow boat heading the other way, hoping there will be someone at the desk who can help us. The man at the ticket booth tells us we have to take a tuktuk 6km to the border.
Day 2, 7:00pm:
We cross the border into Thailand with relatively little difficulty. We are outside a town called Chiang Khong. The buses to Chiang Rai, our destination, are finished for the night. We can charter a minibus for $30 apiece or stay in Chiang Khong for the night and take the local bus tomorrow for $2.50. We opt for the latter.
Day 2, 7:30pm:
We check into one of the only hostels in town and head to the bar across the street for several much needed drinks, our first Thai curry, and a night of YouTube karaoke.
Day 2, 11:30pm:
JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL...
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